Wedding Bells
My wedding date is rapidly approaching, and I can just about hear the bells ringing!
In fact, I will be saying “I do” in just 3 days!
Throughout our engagement, Seth and I have learned a lot about each other.
As we have spent more time together, endured the stress of planning a wedding, suffered personal losses, and explored the foundation of our relationship in pre-marital counseling, the good and the not-so-good parts of both of us have been revealed.
One of the most enlightening and important things we have learned is just how different we truly are.
Seth is a night owl, while I am most productive and energetic in the morning.
I like to talk while Seth likes to listen.
Seth prefers to decompress, reflect, and spend time thinking about his next move, and I prefer to constantly stay busy, bouncing from one task to the next.
Sara Claudia and Seth holding hands standing together but looking in the opposite direction of one another.
I’ll be honest, when we really started to think more deeply about our differences, I became pretty nervous.
This sense of fear was heightened when I realized that most of our quarrels and disagreements, although small, usually stem from these differences.
“Are we incompatible?”… I began to falsely wonder.
In the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul writes about all the wonderful things that God has done for us. And, in chapter 4, he instructs us on how we should be changed and live in gratitude because of these great works.
“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”
(Ephesians 4:1-3)
But these differences between Seth and me, and the quarrels they sometimes cause, can make us feel anything but gentle, patient, or united.
Can you relate?
Do the small personality differences that lie between you and others sometimes cause tension, disagreements, or even rifts in your relationships?
Yes, God made us all different.
We all have varying traits, gifts, and abilities.
Thankfully, the words that Paul shares in this chapter show us how we can change our perspective on these differences and begin to see them as a blessing rather than a burden.
“He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”
(Ephesians 4:16)
In the verses that precede Ephesians 4:16, Paul explains how it takes different people with varying abilities, gifts, and callings to organize, run and grow the church.
As Christians, God gave us all unique spiritual gifts and the strengths and traits that accompany them so that we can work together to grow His kingdom.
And, despite our differences, that is what unites us.
When I look at how Seth and I differ with this new perspective, it helps me to better understand the ways in which we vary.
And, above all else, it highlights the most important similarity that we do have… our love for and devotion to Christ.
Seth and I both love the Lord, love to travel, enjoy quiet evenings, and consider ourselves to be foodies, and treasure all things Disney.
Sometimes, though, we can allow our differences to cause more turmoil than the joy that our similarities can bring.
Seth hugging Sara Claudia from behind and giving her a big kiss on the cheek while she smiling from ear to ear.
I challenge all of us today to look at how we differ from those we love with a new perspective.
As Paul writes about the different ways in which people can work together in various roles in the church in Ephesians, we, too, can look at our different traits as a way to work together in separate, unique ways in order to grow our relationships stronger and ultimately live out our love for Christ.
The last few verses of Ephesians 4 were given to Seth and me in our first pre-marital counseling session as the foundational Scripture of our marriage.
It says,
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
(Ephesians 4:29-32)
These are challenging commandments to follow, but they are so important for the success of any relationship.
As we strive to celebrate our differences, live in spiritual unity, and keep the words of this scripture in our hearts and minds, I know that Seth and I will have a long, love-filled, and happy marriage, and I know that these verses, along with the entire chapter of Ephesians 4, will help your relationships as well!
