Trusting the God Who Sees When I Feel Unseen
Today’s guest blog is written by Whitney Akin. Whitney is the author of Overlooked: Finding Your Worth With You Feel All Alone. Her heart is to see and celebrate the purpose and potential of the overlooked and invite them to live seen by the God who loves them. Whitney’s writing has been featured in (in)courage, Her View From Home, Proverbs 31 Ministries and more. You can find more of her writing and speaking on her website at www.whitneyakin.com and connect with her on Instagram @whitneyakin. Whitney lives outside Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband, Eli, and their three (crazy) beautiful kids.
Trusting the God Who Sees When I Feel Unseen
As I walked into another room full of people I didn’t know, my pulse quickened and I felt the familiar dread in my stomach. How many times had I walked into a room just like this one? It was full of smiling faces and buzzing with layered conversations, but I felt completely alone.
This was a familiar storyline for me, a self-described wallflower, bent on blending in and staying quiet. My introverted personality played into my perpetual feeling of being overlooked. And so I carefully crafted identities that felt safe to protect my heart.
In high school, I was the smart one. In college, I was the academic. In my young married years, I was the minister’s wife. These identities worked surprisingly well at convincing others to only look at the parts of me that were carefully curated. They covered over the weaknesses, fears, doubts, and insecurities lurking in the background. I was so good at hiding behind masks that I began to believe my own self-made identities.
It wasn’t until God stopped me in my tracks and stripped me of my identities that I finally began to see who I really was.
He did this through a season of suffering. In my mid-twenties, I was diagnosed with infertility. It was the first time I experienced what it meant to truly suffer. All the identities I had created, all the pretty faces I tried to wear, were stripped away. I realized during that season that I had desperately been trying to control the way people saw me because I wanted to fix the feelings of being overlooked, lonely, and unseen.
I also learned that none of the people I longed for attention and approval from could help me in my deepest need. Their attention wouldn’t change my suffering. Their approval wouldn’t fix my situation. I needed something more.
What I found in that place, when I laid down all of my identities and stood totally honest before God, is that he saw me. All of me - my strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, fears, sins, and sorrow. There was no self-made identity that could fool him. And this seeing God who saw all of me didn’t point and laugh like others had. He didn’t look past me like others had. He didn’t walk away and say “That’s too much”, like others had. This God who saw me invited me to draw near.
I realized for the first time that the only identity I need is that I am his. All the good, all the weakness, all the parts of me that are still a work in progress. I am his.
Though I learned that lesson nearly ten years ago now, I have to keep reminding myself of this truth. When social media makes me want to compare my kitchen, my body, or my kids to hers, I have to remember, I am not defined by social media. I am his.
When the world wants to quantify everything we do with likes and views, followers and subscribers, I have to remember, I am not defined by numbers. I am his.
When people who I long to see and approve of me leave me feeling unseen and insignificant, I have to remember, I am not defined by what they think of me. I am his.
You are his too. All the identities you have tried to wear, all the things you have tried to cover up, are exposed before the God who sees (Heb. 4:13). But even in this place, even in seeing our sin, God has grace and offers the gift of Jesus, the perfect savior who ushers us toward the throne to receive the mercy and grace we so desperately need. (Heb. 4:14-16)
Placing our faith in the God who sees means we can walk back into those same old rooms with a new identity. Simply, I am his.
Text that says, “This blog is sponsored by:”
Dr. Donna Thomas Moses, who specializes in Periodontics, temporomandibular complex (TMJ), and dental implants. At her practice, she strives to make you feel comfortable and relaxed throughout your evaluation and treatment.
Ashlee Burgess Photography, which has been a photography business in the West Georgia area since 2014. Specializing in weddings, elopements, and couples, Ashlee also loves working with seniors & individuals for portraits! No matter the subject in front of her camera, her goal is to create warm, dreamy images that capture the emotion of your most precious moments.
