What Going Blind Opened My Eyes To with Jena Fellers
Today’s guest blog is written by Jena Fellers. Jena walks by faith, not by sight--both physically and spiritually. While in college, she was diagnosed with RP, retinitis pigmentosa, a progressive and incurable eye disease. As an author, inspirational speaker, and co-pastor, Jena loves to share personal stories to assist in changing your focus from life's hardships heavenward, so God's blessings and opportunities can be seen in every situation. Her passion is to educate and encourage others to follow Christ a little closer through speaking and blogging.
My Faith Prepared Me
“I have what?” I asked the eye specialist.
“Retinitis Pigmentosa, a rare, progressive eye disease that is incurable.”
Before leaving I also learned I was legally blind due to my peripheral vision.
For a 19-year-old college student with a future, this was a lot to process, let alone pronounce correctly.
Thankful for my Christian upbringing, I prayed on the way home, while considering my future.
I was caught off-guard when the Holy Spirit whispered, “Why not me?” into my thoughts before recalling the normal response of “Why me?”
Reflecting about the extent Jesus suffered for me, I lifted my responding thoughts up in prayer.
Maybe He would use me to glorify Himself.
Maybe He could use me to raise money to find a cure.
Maybe He would heal me.
An unknown future stared me in the face. I needed faith like Abraham, the Father of Faith to surrender any fears and to trust God completely.
Abraham walked into unknown lands at age 75, believed long for a promised son, and then he was willing to obey God and sacrifice his promised son to Him.
Response to Circumstances
Not knowing if I could finish my degree or even teach while losing vision, I began writing a few friends requesting prayer. Uncertainty for marriage and a family loomed over me.
Cathy, a member of the Bible study I attended in the spring was the first to respond.
Holding her unopened letter in my hand, I hesitated. Drawing in a deep breath I remembered that even though all of us believed in healing, many of them believed if someone wasn’t healed, it was because they lacked faith.
I loved the Lord with all my heart and didn’t want the pressure of my faith being enough. I didn’t quite agree in my heart that God operated that way.
Letting my breath out slowly, I was greeted with compassionate words. Quickly, my eyes landed on a saying, “It’s not the circumstances God looks at as much as the way we react to them.”
My muscles automatically tensed as an argument rose within. What do you mean God doesn’t care about our circumstances? He cares more than we can imagine.
They relaxed just as quickly as my eyes reread the saying and understanding dawned. As much as He cares for us, He cares more about our reaction, the way God desired obedience more than the Israelites sacrifices.
My mind reviewed my own reaction. It seemed it might have been pleasing to God. I had turned to Him and trusted Him to the best of my ability.
Whew!
From then on, I used that saying as a checkpoint when facing hardship or adversity of any kind – relationally, financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
No matter what happens in life, we always have a choice of how we react:
Demand our will or surrender to God’s perfect will
Trust Jesus or trust mankind
Run to Jesus or run from Him
Give up or look up
See blessings in every circumstance or focus on the problem
Ever since, I choose to react by trusting God to guide my unknown path, the way a sighted guide leads me now.
This is called walking by faith and not by sight. Doing so requires our relying on God’s strength and wisdom to prevent us from giving up.
Everyone trips and falls, but as Christians, we’ll get back up (Proverbs) for we’re trusting God has a plan and purpose for our life.
For me, God answered my original prayer in using me to glorify Him and encourage others on their faith journey. The saying in that letter proved to be a valuable tool to keep me on the straight and narrow path.
Because of trusting God, He has been able to use me to:
Graduate college and teach special ed.
Help teenage juvenile offenders
Marry and raise a family
Run businesses while co-pastoring with my husband
Home-educate
Teach children and adults in Sunday School, Children’s Church, or Bible studies
Become an author, blogger, and spiritual coach with those struggling
I always consider mothering to be my greatest calling, but the greatest work I’ve seen God do that He allowed me to be a part of, was to co-found a feeding ministry for ten years. This ministry fed 1,000,000 meals in that time span without knowing where funds, food, or volunteers would come from. Talk about a faith growth adventure!
From experience, I can tell you God never lets us down. He’s more than able to handle anything, even if done a different way or in a longer time than WE EXPECT.
We can trust Him! He is trustworthy.
